[26] meet YOUR president!

[26]


meet YOUR president!


I, Barry Cyrus Viloria, do hereby solemnly pledge to do my duties and responsibilities as the President of the Republic of the Philippines.


[cla clap clap]


The absurdity of the patheitc laws ie Republic Act Shit is a clue that our Freedom is not "True Freedom". My new LAWS will cover all shameful flaws imprinted on our butt cheeks by the past presidents. I therefore impose this ammendment of the current constitution whether those warfreakish and nasty politicians like it or not.


ARTICLE Oh-One
Identity


Section 01. Name of the Country. From now on, the Philippine Islands will now be known as "Aa", since it will be easier to pronounce and write ie the dimwits will find no isecurity in History classes and so will the mutes/ngongo's.


Section 02. Geography. All marine creatures and renowned swinners and/or divers will exercise their talents literally by allocating the entire archipelago south so we too, ca experience the fortune of drizzling snow.


ARTCILE Oh-Two
People


Section 01. Citizenship. All Filipinos from now on will be called Aans. All foreigners must be immediately punted out this country so as not to sink during high tides if the population incessantly increases.


Secton 02. Language. All Aans will mouth ONLY English and Filipino/tagalog.


Section 03. Dialect. ILOKANO will be in a copious sort for communication as I reject all native tongues especially the vexatious accents os the 'dung/'day regions.



ARTICLE Oh-Three
Regulations


Section 01. Outfit. Self-confessed and closet JOLOGS will be annihilated once they step out of their homes parading and showing off their hair-raising and nose-pinching sense of fashion. Raul Gonzales will head DOJ: Department of Jologs. If he will show any objection, I shall merit him with a death penalty with the ancient use of the guillotine.


Section 02. Crime. All forms of what we recognize as anti-ten-commandments will be in no question/.All Aans can do homicide, robbery, kidnapping-for-ransom, libel, graft and corruption, plagiarism, etcetera, etcetera. as long as they follow one certain rule: "Commit Crime and eat Ten Cockroaches," in a cause to decrease the incalculable population of criminals and such pests.


Section 03. Environment. Aans will adhere to Plant a tree first before hitting the showers" at least daily. Anyone with neuosus or schizophrenia would not dare refuse this decree and later, get declared as human forms of the Smokey Mountain.



To all these, thank you and clap for me.

these are my future cabinet members:
Nix
Department of Indifference
Ervin
Department of Tomatoculture
Kristal
Department of Potbellies
Maj
Department of Internal Affairs of Gossips
Mariefer
Department of Spiritual Affairs
Timang
Department of Mass Communication though
Incredible Vocal Range
Angeli
Department of Hair Straightening
Juni
Department of Exercise and Aerobics
Ralph
Department of Whitening Astringents
and Dermatology