[17] Seventeen reasons why it is worth living in a place called Philippines

[17]

NOTE: "17" is my favorite number. The reasonable reason? It's the length of my ******---well, what else do you think besides that this is my birthday [as in the day, stupid]...sooo, this blog, i think, would have the most oomph amongst all other entries i had.

Seventeen reasons why it is worth living in a place called Philippines:
*an essay of a true-blue nationalistic patriotic country-loving-and-dedicated Filipino*

1.You live in a country with no first-rate trademark of its own. The Banaue Rice Terraces won't count, they have more zenith of that in other Asian lands outta Pinas. The diversity of almost all races for sure ousters us. Come on, loser, we have Chinese, Spanish, Japanese, Indian [eew,sorry, i am not really a boastful racist but hey, i get physically and soulfully allergic when i get close to them, not even a foot nearer], America [d-uh!], European, and other homo sapien blood with melanines either have amount so little or high. There exist no Filipino type, I repeat, we are a mixture of Indonesian and Malaysian homozygous dominant genes. We ain't got uniqueness & originality, except for other things like having a calesa.

2.The tiring war in our government is the greatest crisis next to having been flushed in the toilet bowl by your own monthly-salaried Bisayan maid.

3.Have i mentioned Pollution? In the rural, it doesn't appeal...so a little advice to the serenity-oriented people living there, "Fart all you want"

4.Our Christmas is the open season for the proseperous. Your cellphone get snatched in the populous SM North Edsa... you encounter a grave hold-upping in the dim lights of lampposts on the Katipunan sidewalks... you get swindled by people who regard you as a fool and max out all your bank account in an instant[in which case, you may accept that you are really a fool]

5.You have a free-of-charge sun tan. Yess people, you just sneak in your neighbour's house which is a quadruple of meters away form your home, and TADAAA, you're now in a perfect skin color!

6.You have a country almost populated by preposterous Christians, where in fact, most of them, are practicing the conceited and arrogant mood of discrimation on your status in life.And you just can't help but throw them a little something at them [a mace or a hammer will do].

7.Huh! What else?? BORACAY---the premiere tourist-spot of the Philippines coinciding with a grubby title of "a secluded dumpsite"

8.You live with people who are illiterate, and as time inevitably goes by, they become the opposite. That is what they call the Law of Poverty-strikes-in-the-same-person-a-million-times
-causing-him-to-forget-simple-math-and-english! This is a written scientific law, by Isaac Newton and Madam Auring. Hail thee!


---i am typing this so hard i could almost implode---


*TO BE CONTINUED