[fiftieth]
Operation: Helen of Troy
"Guys, alam niyo ba kung sino ang may-ari ng Corolla Altis plate-numbered XMB 236? na-abduct po kasi iyong victim. pls reply to 0926******* & pass 2 CMC friends"
This was the text message roving in our cell phones last Friday, as I and some classmates were listening to the substantial lecture from our NGO (Non-government office) film practitioners for our NSTP-CWTS. I read it thrice; I did not get it: how could he/she be abducted in his/her car, in the parking lot? Is this a gimmick, in which the supposedly bawling 'victim' was just strolling around?
It slightly bothered me that I sent too text messages to my Mass Comm friends especially to the ladies (I-m not a chauvinist!) that night saying, "Ui, ikaw ba iyong na-kidnap?" And of course, they thought I was kidding them.
Moving on, you must know that being abducted is not so flattering-- that you’re one rich kid ran after by hoodlums. So in case of feared abduction, these tips come in handy:
1. As soon as your eyes, mouth and hands are fastened or plastered with hankies, sticking tapes and/or super glue (eek! It reminds me of "House of Wax"), stay unruffled and don't shriek ever. This will give them a notion of not hitting you in the tummy. You're spared form the damsel-in-distress persona, rejoice! Should you have the goad to rebuke or retaliate against them, they will treat you like an animal. Admit it, you can not fight against these kinds of animals.
2. When they bring you to the dim dramatic single-bulb room or place, ask them if you could go and to the restroom. Apply all your acting skills to obtain their compassion. OF course the condition is that they will guard you outside. And if luckily yo'’re now in the john, exit through the window (that is, if the coast outside is sure clear). Otherwise you snatch the container beside the toilet bowl that reads MURIATIC ACID. Then after turning the knob to go out from the john, splash it to the ones guarding you and chuckle like there’s no tomorrow---whereas you can get potentials for being held hostage once again of you don’t run fast. Quick now!
3. Hide behind the bushes near you. Make a siren-like sound (read: policemen cars) from your vocals to get them to wrack and ruin. Hooray!
I now feel the craving for our sleazy politicians to experience the doom of being abducted. I know we have the same mirthful thing in mind, you guys am I correct?
In the aforementioned report, I hoped that it stayed as a rumor. No dirty things going on. If the victim was a leftist, that's another thing.
